Tinkering with SteamOS on the ROG Ally got me thinking: what would my dream handheld look like? Here’s my wishlist across OS, hardware, and games.
A while ago I took my dusty ROG Ally off my shelf and installed SteamOS on it. I had planned to install Bazzite for quite a while, but never got around to doing it. Since Valve has slowly been adding support for the ROG Ally to SteamOS, I reckoned it would be a good time.
The installation experience is quite decent. Installing SteamOS only took a couple of minutes (it took me longer to find a USB drive to no avail, so I ended up using an SD card), and then it was all about installing Decky Loader and a bunch of plugins to dial in the device (If you want a tutorial, hit reply and I’ll write one).
But while playing around with an ROG Ally running SteamOS, I kept asking myself if I prefer this admittedly still hacky experience, or if I should just use the Steam Deck in the first place. I also wondered if an ROG Ally running SteamOS is actually any better than an ROG Ally running Windows.
The thing is, after having tried so many handhelds throughout the time I've been writing overkill, I still haven’t found the one device that I’d deem perfect for my own experience. There’s always some trade-off made by a manufacturer that ends up bothering me in one way or another.
But what even does a perfect handheld look like to me? Especially one that could genuinely exist, without either breaking any laws of physics or turning into a 2,000 eurodollar expensive beast.
So, I figured it was time to write down what my ideal handheld would actually look like.
There are three categories that I'd like to cover for this 'perfect handheld' wishlist:
- The OS
- The hardware
- ..and a little note about games
So, let's start with the OS.
Operating System
To my own surprise, I want this thing to run Windows.
But not the shit show of an experience we have right now. The major flaw with all of these non-SteamOS handhelds currently on the market is Windows. It's just a pain to use, makes games perform worse compared to running them on Linux on the same hardware, and is generally a headache to deal with.
And yet, I still want it to be a Windows-based device, as Windows simply has the widest compatibility, and comes with little bonuses like Game Pass, and support for all types of anti-cheat software.
To make this a better experience, however, Microsoft has to change Windows in such a way that it's basically an Xbox. They teased as much with the recent announcement of the Xbox ROG Ally or whatever that thing is called (the name sucks so much!), but no one truly knows what that experience looks like.
Basically, what I want Microsoft to do (this is, after all, my wishlist) is to automatically launch into a gaming mode a la SteamOS which in the background doesn't load all the crap that usually comes with Windows. No explorer.exe, no telemetry shenanigans, no Microsoft Defender, and no other background processes that are not needed. I shouldn't be seeing a Start menu.
This gaming mode should be as lightweight as possible, and basically just launch a launcher, which gives you access to all kinds of different storefronts. Playnite lets you do this, so there is no reason Microsoft can't build the same thing (the only limitation is that you can't buy games, say from Steam, through Playnite).
Like SteamOS, this Windows version should also allow you to boot into a desktop mode. This could then just be a full Windows installation, with all the bells and whistles you usually find on Windows. But the big difference here is that it's only full-fledged Windows when you want it. Not as a default state, but on demand. It should kill all unnecessary processes when you switch back to Gaming Mode.
Maybe we're about to get that with this new version teased by Microsoft. Maybe the alternative is for Microsoft to bring Game Pass to SteamOS and for Valve to finally figure out a solution for anti-cheat. But hey, again, it's a wishlist, so we can dream.
Hardware
Naturally, I'd love for this thing to run a 5090 and a 9800X3D. But I said that I don't want to break any laws of physics, so let's be realistic here.
I don't know enough about chip technology, so I'll make my life easier and opt for a Z2 Extreme. Or a Z3 Extreme or whatever chip would be the latest handheld chip available whenever this handheld sees the light of day. It should have more than the 24 GB of memory (shared with the GPU) in the ROG Ally X. Can we cram 32 gigs in? Let's cram 32 gigs in!
An AMD chip also seems like the wisest choice, since it's what Valve has been building SteamOS on, and Microsoft has recently announced they'll collaborate with AMD going forward.
This Z2/Z3 Extreme should power a 1080p OLED screen with VRR and a 144 Hz refresh rate. To me, 1080p is the ideal resolution for a device like this. It lets you run graphically intense games downscaled at 720p without looking too bad, even if the scaling isn’t pixel-perfect. And 1080p is still the most broadly compatible resolution for games anyway.
After playing around with the Switch 2, I think 7.9" also seems like the best screen size for such a device. But there is a risk that this device would become huge with such a screen, and I've always thought the Steam Deck to be just a tad too large for my normal-sized hands. (Talking of large: ergonomics-wise, while I think the device is ugly AF, it should have a grip like the Xbox ROG Ally (the name hasn't improved after typing it for the second time)).
The way I'd love for this to be solved is through two means:
One, just make the damn bezels smaller. If smartphones can have tiny bezels, why not handhelds???
Two, since this is my personal perfect device, I'm ok with it not having any trackpads. I personally never use them, except to navigate through SteamOS, and I simply don't play games meant for mouse-operation on my handheld. But I'd be ok with a small trackpad (which could combo as a fingerprint sensor) like on the Lenovo Legion Go S. All of this wouldn't be a problem in the first place, if Valve released A DAMN STEAM CONTROLLER 2 ALREADY!
Finally, at least one terabyte of internal storage and compatibility with microSD Express cards (though, don't be a dick like Nintendo, make it backward compatible with normal microSD cards too). It should also have at least one top and one bottom USB-C, and while we're at it, add an OcuLink port to the mix, in case anyone ever wants to use this device hooked up to a proper GPU as a desktop replacement.
Obviously, it should use whatever latest Bluetooth and WiFi standards currently exist.
Oh, and for a little bonus: if we can somehow create a dock that gets more power out of this device (thanks to OcuLink maybe) whenever we hook it up to a monitor or a TV, I'd be willing to pay extra.
Games
Since this thing runs Windows, it's technically compatible with "everything". So it doesn't matter if you bought all your games on Steam or Epic Games, use Game Pass, want to run EmuDeck, or stream games via Amazon Luna or GeForce Now, it should just work. This is why we picked Windows after all.
But there's one feature I'd love for this thing to have, that somehow no one has created yet:
If you run the Nvidia app on your PC, you might be familiar with that one little feature, that allows you to automatically dial in-game settings with the click of a single button.
To this day, I have no clue if that feature is actually any good, but if Microsoft builds something like this explicitly for the chip in this device, I can't think of any reason why this wouldn't work. They wouldn't have to bother with different configurations since they all use the Z2/Z3 Extreme.
Heck, I don't understand why Valve doesn't build something like that for the Steam Deck. They all use the same chip anyway. Just add a battery option, a performance option, and all bueno. And whoever wants to dial in the game to look better, but run worse can do so.
Seriously. Someone at Valve should vibe-code this.
Maybe some engineer reading this right now is shouting at their display, but to me, this device doesn't sound that outlandish. Sure, it's a wishlist for a device that doesn't exist, but I don't see why this should be impossible to build.
Though I reckon this thing would be expensive. Probably hilariously so. I can imagine this scratching the 999 eurodollars mark. But if, say, Microsoft was the company building this thing, they could go the console way, and not necessarily sell the device at a loss, but maybe at break even to push Game Pass and game sales really hard.
(Or, again, Valve, if Microsoft brings Game Pass to SteamOS. And then Valve would just do one more Steam Sale per year, and GabeN can buy a yacht or whatever billionaires buy with their money.)
Anyway, this is the wishlist for my perfect handheld. And if any engineer reading this wants to work on this thing, hit me up, and I'll help design it.